love

could it be true that

you fall in love with someone who possesses attributes you desire and lack
which makes this special someone different
the different views different expectations
become obstacles in a relationship
and you decide its best if you let go and set him free from a possible burden

yet again, true love is possibly when you triumph these obstacles together and see eye to eye
how much should one give before letting go
can anyone be entirely unselfish

friends say never let yourself get hurt in a relationship
protect yourself and never commit fully
because guys move on so much quickly than girls do however strong the girl is
but what if i hurt you?

i promised i tried
but behind those smiles
are tears i swallow back in
are the shivering ends of my lips struggling to stay up to maintain that smile

but somehow at the end of evrything
i know i love you
and somehow thats all thats in my head
no matter how tough it is

i can do it. i tell myself i will.

**

i duno who to talk to sometimes
i feel so insecure
rejections
financing my uni education overseas
do they want me? what do they think of me? when are they going to call me? who has gotten it?
endless questions
i try to believe
wishing upon stars and everything i can wish upon
i try to have faith
i duno who to turn to
im so sick of crying at night
because i duno who to turn to.
i miss school
i miss my friends
i feel so tired
i just wanna run away from evrything

**

invigilation

haha me reliefing in rgs now.. its a really pleasant experience, so many ex rgs pple are here so its pretty fun.

and now i finally know what goes on behind the scenes before and after examinations.. and its pretty entertaining how some of the responses given by students for their midyears are so funny ha. and it feels kinda weird to only use red ink now (:

anyway b is finally back! (: after a long 8 days.

AND I CANT BELIEVE IM SO BEHIND FOR GOSSIP GIRL as in TWO NEW EPISODES HAVE BEEN OUT since that long hiatus!!!!! screams. rushing home from sch now to watch it. so squealable (:

me backs!

me is back!

haha.

after a whole series of scholarship interviews, im still without one.. ):
waiting and waiting and waiting

anyway psc just sent me a rejection letter, not even offering me an interview. sigh.

oh to happier things,

(:

you know i'm head over heels over you
baby just trust me
just for this once

been reading jodi picoult's nineteen minutes.. really good.. im pretty sad that i have a mere 100 pages left before i finish the book.. where's melia! lend me your library of jodi picoults! (:

hoho i wonder who still comes by this url. anyhoo, TA.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIOK! belated actl. by one day. DINNER SOON PLS!

((:

-

painful history
just another repeat of it
maybe not just
not that simple

ive got this nonchalant feeling abt it though
like, HAHA i alrdy know how it feels so hit me
but yeah
i feel like a fool

its me
just not cut out to be
haha
im so sick of those pangs
pangs that ran away from
and now back to

fuck

mambo

HIHI

mambo night on wed! haha like my second time after postprom and i must say its pretty fun! and yvonne's the best person to be with in a crowded club like zouk cause shes just so cute (:

had pretty much happy fun with siok carol von claire melody! haha that crazy guy who kept walking past us up and down up and down like for a gazil times lol. and nxt time we'll come earlier and get access to phuture before they stop selling anymore tickets! grar.

yvonne send me fotos! haha! (: claire has a nice cam that takes good pics in the dark.

got home at like 5plus and had to wake up by 9 for tuition! before rushing down to paragon to meet the rest for lunch.. my legs were like so heavy haha but we still shopped around in town till like almost 5 before me and siok left for novena to meet the luohan! AND SIOK IS SUCH COMPANY FOR SHOE SHOPPING HA. and mondo has like the best deals. so effing cheap omgs. like i bought a pair of pretty heels and flats for a total of 36.90. beams.

was great catching up with the lisapizza cause i just miss her. felt great just sitting outside nov sq chatting till eleven. we could do it again nxt week after your work shifts lisa! and come with us coming wed!! (:

anyhow anyway, trng tmr. hwachong. SUPER UNFIT. a pretty grave feeling. haha but im sure ill have fun still. friends and netball. <3 almost all i need!

*

misses.

(:

((:
smiles.

i have a great life now.
i love (:

oh baby

its painful
to have made that choice
to try and convince myself its the right thing to do

its a good thing im sooo occupied with uni apps and a levels
but i know its not fair
and i try to fight that conscience of mine

it doesnt feel the same
though it shouldnt be any different

ive learnt about new things
my heart breaks
but i always try to mend them in time
or chuck them aside
but this time it really is in pieces and im still trying

wheres my future

*

anyway, ive got new songs in my playlist (thanks shouyee!) and im really happy with it. can u imagine having to mug thru this period without good songs. but some damn emo and you know, influences my mood too.

was just thinking back on my 2 years. and maybe a little before that as well. i really miss the good ol days. SO MUCH.

i miss those days with mus hanis melia lemin charsu yuru in 401
i miss those days in sec1 and 2 with jenn mel lisa moni melia sara abby adeline denise yixuan xinyun stef shree bala vithya yuru debs omg everyone
i miss those days when we slept over at moni's just beside the presidents' residence (:
i miss those days when we had fun pe lessons with lindalim
i miss those days with anna manda melia in rgs
i miss those days when i get to go home with anna and manda with melia
i miss those days when netball seemed to be in every single day of my life
i miss NETBALL
i miss the team
i miss the training
i miss the sun sweat tears and whatnots
i miss having to shoot evryday
i miss gyming evryday
i miss the 5k runs evryday
i miss the netballers so much
i miss CAMBODIA
i miss the people in cambodia
i miss the past so much
i dont wanna move on away from school and uniforms and teams and friends and everything

i miss rgs so much. i miss netball so much. im feeling lost evryday having only one goal in mind which is to mug as much as i can till a's and hope for the best. i dont even know which uni i wanna go to though ive FINALLY recently decided on my early decision. and all e rest is left in God's hands.

*

and i just pray that everything else will be just fine and ill have you back the way it was before. and we could laugh like we didnt have to care about anything and love like theres no tomorrow. remember the long bus rides? remember the movies? remember the ice cream? remember the mugging sessions? remember the secret sleepovers? remember your birthday? simple things. that mean the world to me. and im desperately searching them back.

i dont wanna let it go as well
but

*