tears

why cant i have a better brain that will allow me to solve math problems!

i so cant feel that A for math coming. not at all.

):

ive been at the integration rev ws for AGES. and yes besides some distraction from msn. I CANT FINISH IT.

*

im torn inside
a right a left
one bigger than the other
size and significance
both precious
but one has to be more

allow me to prioritise

i cant do this on my own
maybe its time i fall back on God
ive shunned my back on Him long enough
because of reasons i dont ever wanna think about again
(not sex omg)
i felt like i could trust no one anymore
and/or rather trust anything i do anymore

over time i actually realise
there were calls for me to allow Him into my heart again
actually no,
He has always been there
He hasnt left me
but somehow i feel like i have to learn how to open up to Him all over again
and i lack the courage to do so

been praying
for the courage to walk into the warm arms of God's community again
for the courage to pray along w evryone else, for someone else, and for myself.

Listening to Hillsong in the quiet lonely night just makes me yearn for You more. I miss You.

(:

you just do the cutest things sometimes.

(: twinkle.

to:

whisper in my ear you
the sweet nothings that tickle me happy
warm my lips with yours
tell me just tell me
that i am your one and only

baby,

take me back into time
then freeze it
and let us live forever the way it was-
was

i love you.

happy sunday morning

downpour.
the sound of rain banging against the garden roof the window planes
nature's band

woke up to your touch
you ruffling through my messy overnight hair

if evryday was sucha happyday
ill be a happyhappy girl.
(duh!)

*

N!

=))

its been the happiest day in so long.

falling aslp knowing youre just next door,
waking up to your face, to your voice. so comforting and reassuring.

YOU pangsehed me for lunch! grr. haha.
but YOU made up for it anyway.

wheedlesdoo. (:

scholarship preview was o.O u s e l e s s. haha i was so fidgety and restless. but talked to charmaine.. really missed her. those rgs days. charsu lets hope we get to go LSE tgr (: if we both make it!

QUEUED FOR DONUT FAC! haha! HAPPY OMG. 24 shimmering yummy WARM doughnuts. i gobbled 2 of them up instantly. the new flavor coffee almond is yummydums! a must-try! anyway, ill be bringing doughnuts on tues! look for me if u want some heh. =D

dinner was g r e a t! JUST GREAT. crystal jade is really tiptopjadequality. even the 1.50 plain porridge is enough to tickle your tummy happy. <3<3<3

just got home only! and its like 12 alrdy. ok i better finish up my math hmwrk!! zz. before i konk out ><

anyway, something embarrassing. IM READING POTTER BOOK ONE! lol. hooked alrdy. (:

*

i wish time could stop this very moment
give this a chance
wont you?

i will wait for you
no matter what i have to do
even if it takes the rest of my life

tgif!

THANK GOD ITS FRIDAY.

its been a long week full of tsts. though i missed 2 of them. but i did study for gp!
thurs got chem today got econs. killer la no time to do.. rah whatever fail la. ><

anyway tuition tdy. hashim's one funny guy. i love tuition. though we were all falling aslp. (:

wanted to do some work in e evening.. but had this horrible horrible horrible headache.. slept.

went for nice happy dinner in town. late dinner. FAT. sigh i put on 1 kg!!!! time to diet.

*

love.

NEW!

revamped my blog slightly..
haha a break from studying econs.
i havent gotten anything done ><

anyway i love the rose. so pretty its almost translucent.

hopefully my blog wont die agn!

back to the books! ):

(glor's gg for her op soon, prayers!)

(:

my pretty nike shoes carry the paint on their doors and windows.
cambodia 2006.

in need

finally ran, the first time in like one plus weeks. a good 30min. allowing my mind to rest and just think about the recent times.

haha. a little of exam stress a little fear a little recalling of things i never wanted to remember.

but yet i felt this tugging joy at my heart this morning. this genuine happiness i never had in ages. but it got slammed when siok messaged me about chem lec test tmr. i so hate small tests like these.

there wasnt a reason for it really. i just felt it.

haha. maybe God's trying to remind me what happiness really is. from e simple things in life perhaps. ponned skl today so i had a aimless morning. it felt good to be alone with nothing on my agenda just allowing time to pass by doing the silliest of things like trying to touch my ceiling.

then i was just thinking about my life after JC. part of me yearns for a simple life, simple by defn means staying in Singapore for my studies and then working up the corporate ladder like every other person. the other part of me yearns for a "big" life, going to the UK or the US to study in Ivy League unis and being poached by big companies offering you promising careers. maybe my defns are a little deluded but i duno.. sometimes i feel like im just conforming to what everyone around me is doing. but as i say all these and think about the alternatives, i'll still be writing my testimonials and mugging hard for sats just like everyone else.

i feel like i need to liberate myself from something's that holding me back. i feel like i know what it is, but i am not sure what and how to deal with it and move on. maybe i need someone. but i already have someone. but i dont feel like i have that someone anymore. i really miss you.

well at least i worked out today. sweating and putting your heart to work sure makes me feel a whole lot better. but then im like freaked for chem test tmr and econs test on fri.

><

tarala.

haunting

be cautious of memories you thought have faded
they've merely hidden from sight;
not rid,never will.

i cant move on

why

why do i feel so weird knowing,
i thought i always wanted to,
now that im in the light,
i regret allowing myself to fall susceptible to you.

been really hooked on avril lavigne's when youre gone. i duno, somehow i feel like im living the song.
this sense of peace
yet a sense of unrest
wtf is gg on.

i pray for the day i wake up to clear skies.

*

i know we were.

ha

haha im thnkful for the pple arnd me.
haiti tara siok thanks for your precious listening ears and comforting advice.

i will pull through i will.

*

im counting your footsteps as you walk away. its only when youre gone that i know for sure now.

so should i turn right or left.

i really dont know.

its so difficult.

i duno what to do. whats right whats wrong.

will i regret it.

i miss the old. us.

*

it hurts more than you think it does.

happyday

ponned skl. haha whats new =D shouyee managed to convince me.

anyway woke up real late like 1030.. played with my new macbook before rushing down to tp to meet melia n jenn.. hahha had the happiest funniest lunch lol. loves jenn. :)

OH AND TARA SWAM DAMN FREAKING WELL. keep telling us sure very lousy, in e end second la! tsk. haha! yay could see how happy she was, claps so happy for her.

HA, den me n melia went to watch p sch skipping rope finals omg damn cute. this fat boy he's like literally round he was skipping. hahha mighty cute i was so so amused.

anyway gymed today. and hurt my shin. siok warns me against a shin splint. whee. and tmr got ihc bball.

*

i miss-

hi again

haha, i realise im always using this default skin by blogspot. ho. lazy to go into all that design and detail. haha the url's still the same old one. thanks to yl who loves to call me that. :D haha.